Okay, so deciding to quit smoking was a bit of a spontaneous decision. Deciding to blog about it was also rather spontaneous. What wasn’t spontaneous was the trip to Indianapolis we had planned for this past weekend, which put a bit of a wrinkle in my plans to write daily about that withdrawal.
Also providing wrinkles: a day-long trip to the Children’s Museum which was a lot of fun but also incredibly frustrating with two kids who stayed up late the night before swimming, got up early to do more swimming and as a result were nearing their breaking points before we even set foot inside the museum.
There are two things that can drive me to madness faster than almost anything: my children being whiny and acting out in public and being confined in public with large crowds. Both of these at once, while quitting an eight-year smoking habit? All I can say is I feel incredibly proud of myself for not going insane.
That’s not to say I haven’t had my moments of being less than pleasant the last few days, but overall I’ve been very surprised at how easy quitting has been. There were the moments of irritability, the anxiety, the withdrawal headache, and more. But to be perfectly honest, they just weren’t that bad.
Like I said in the first post, it could be because I only smoked on average 5 cigarettes a day, but the few times I’ve tried to quit in the past have been hellish. Especially the third day, when symptoms are often the worse. So when I realized that the third day coincided with our trip to the Children’s Museum, I thought things were going to go horribly.
My wife begged me to wait until Monday to quit. “I just want to have a nice weekend,” she told me Thursday night when I broke the news that I had smoked my last. I couldn’t do that, I knew, because the strength to quit that seemingly came out of nowhere might not still be there on Monday. I had made a decision and I needed to stick by it, even if it meant I was going to be a grumpy dick during a family outing.
And while I was indeed a bit of a grumpy dick by the time 5 pm rolled around on Saturday, it wasn’t that bad. I know I keep saying that, “it wasn’t that bad” but it really wasn’t! Despite my children being tired and whiny, despite being rather tired myself from lack of sleep and lots of swimming/walking, despite the massive crowds pressing all around me causing my social anxiety to peak, and despite my wife seemingly deciding to make up for my quitting by smoking more often, it wasn’t that bad.
I have wanted a cigarette, but not as badly as I thought I would. I even held my wife’s lit cigarette for her Friday evening while she was fishing something out of her purse, and while the thought to take a drag came to my mind, it was almost too easy to resist. I keep waiting for some other shoe to drop, because this has been a piece of cake so far. I hope it continues that way.
More to come tomorrow. For real this time.